LESSON 12: HOW SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY CAN MAKE YOU A BETTER LEADER

​Effective leaders recognize what motivates intrinsically. Intrinsic motivation comes from within. This is compared to extrinsic motivation which is driven by external factors such as money, social status or the approval of others. I believe leaders in the church are most often driven by intrinsic motivation. Understanding how this works can help you as a leader.

Self-Determination Theory is accepted by most psychologists as explaining the factors that go into intrinsic motivation. Let’s break it down.

The first factor in developing intrinsic motivation in others is providing A Sense of Autonomy.

Nobody likes to be told what to do. The idea of autonomy is that people want to have an influence on what goes on in their life.

As a leader, it’s important to remember this. Telling others what they need to do and expecting them to enthusiastically follow is unrealistic. Even if you can order them around, they may do it but it’s likely to create a negative attitude that is more of a problem than a lack of compliance.

Likewise, when you realize you can’t control others, you can give them the freedom to make their own choices. They won’t always want to follow, but when they do, they will do so with greater passion and commitment.

The second factor in developing intrinsic motivation in others is developing A Sense of Competence.

How do you do this? By encouraging others to address the challenges in life and then to work through them.

There is a paradox here that is understood in family systems theory. You can’t make another person responsible. In fact, the very act of trying to make someone responsible takes away their responsibility. In the same way, you can’t make another person competent. You can offer assistance, but you can’t do it for them. If you do, deep down they’ll know they didn’t do it, making them feel less competent.

As a leader, the best thing you can do is to increase your tolerance for the pain of another. The term “no pain, no gain” really is true. It’s through pain and challenge that we learn and grow. And it’s only through working our way through challenges that we increase our feeling of competence.

How can you help others gain this sense? Focus on efforts, not results. Encourage people when they give their best effort. More importantly, encourage them when things don’t work out as planned. Ask, “What did you learn from this?” or “How would you do it differently next time?” This will help them develop a growth mindset.

Of course, results matter. But we aren’t always successful. By helping others to focus on effort, you will actually end up with better results. Focusing on results increases anxiety because it makes the effort appear to be more high-stakes than it really is. This will decrease the likelihood of successful results.

Finally, intrinsic motivation develops when there is A Sense of Relatedness.

Emotional connection is essential as a leader and a person. We all want to feel that we’re a part of something. When you, as a leader, can help others feel connected to you, as well as the mission of your organization, this will increase their sense of relatedness. This doesn’t mean you have to be best friends. It does mean that you make the effort to get to know other people and what’s important to them.

This is especially true if they make you feel uncomfortable. When you avoid others, it makes both of you more anxious. Going a step further, staying emotionally connected with those who resist your leadership is essential. Disconnecting leads to anxiety, conspiracy theories and passive aggressive behavior.

Leadership is hard. It’s often about learning to function in healthy ways so that others can do the same. Understanding how motivation works can help you do this.